Prayer Letters
September 1, 2002
Dear Friends and Family,
“I’m in the trashcan cause I am trash,” the little boy said. Julia turned to him and in the strongest way she could, but with the softest tone, she told him that was not true. I have been back since to that park where the Presidential house, the National Museum and the ruins of the old Cathedral are, but never again have I seen that young boy or maybe I did, but the faces start to run together after awhile. Each little one asking for a cordoba (equivalent of $.07) so that they can buy something to eat for themselves or for their family. Each little one dirty from the dust in the streets and from spending all day wandering around in an area that for them has become their workplace. Each little one thinking only about the next meal instead of being in school or out playing with friends. Each little one...and yet when you see them, you would never think of trash, but many of them think just that of themselves.
How often do we even think about trash? We throw it away throughout the week to then gather it all up again and put in out on the roadside so that it can disappear forever. If anything, it’s just a chore or maybe we give it some thought when we think about the environment - reduce, reuse, recycle (a good idea, by the way!). But if you’re like me, you probably haven’t spent much time lately contemplating your trashcan or comparing yourself to the contents inside.
However, in Nicaragua the overabundance of trash in the streets causes anyone to give it all a second thought. Being trash means you aren’t worth enough to be kept, that you have no value to the one throwing you away, and therefore are tossed out without being considered again. At least a donation is given another chance to be used somewhere else, but trash is to be disposed. So what am I to think when I am out running and pass someone digging through my neighbors’ trash bags looking for extra scraps of food or possibly some type of clothing. Besides a prayer to the God whom I believe can do all things, all that comes over me is an overwhelming sadness because I don’t understand and don’t even know where to begin.
Unfortunately, it’s not just little children begging in the streets or grown women going through trash bags. The problems and issues here in Managua are like roots that have grown so deep and so strong with time. There’s the deep governmental corruption, the constant natural disasters – earthquakes, droughts and hurricanes, the overly high rate of unemployment, the excessive cost of electricity and water, the overwhelming sense of hopelessness, and the list goes on and on. All this sounds quite discouraging and to be honest there have been plenty of days when I have felt so deeply discouraged by all that I see and experience here in Nicaragua. And yet in those times of frustration and discouragement, I have learned to adapt that popular phrase “let go and let God.”
I am learning to let go of my frustrations over the government and their lack of social services throughout the country. I am learning to let go of my discouragement with the legalism of the churches as well as the overabundance of poverty. I am learning to let go of stressing over and worrying about situations that are so big in which I have no control. But most of all in letting go I am learning to let God… let God be in control, let God carry out His plan for this world, let God work in me and through me, and let God transform what this world often calls trash into what He created them to be. All of my frustrations and discouragement will never change anything, but letting go and letting God just might change this world!
Seeking Him for life,
Amanda Van Deman
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"dale una luz a los que aman tanto vivir en Nicaragua."
~ Guardabarranco (Nicaraguan duo)